Love an unlovable, love the weirdo.


If you want to learn love, like you learned math or your A,B,C’s at school, love a happy person, love the college graduate, the guy in the polo inheriting daddy’s fancy bussiness, love someone who was born lucky and has never been bruised. They walk on the right side of the street, they go through life sailing by boat so they don’t get wet, they go everywhere by car so their fancy shoes don’t get dirty, you will be safe.

They love the same way, delicately, slowly, like a surgeon opening you up with his sterilized gloves, they won’t hurt you or they’ll do it with anesthesia, never truly dangerous, never truly touching you either…

It must be perfect, having safe love around you like a blanket for life.

But if, on the other hand, you are one of those who wants to feel love, really feel it, love an unlovable, love an outcast, love a misfit, love the artist, love the writer, love the musician, love the hippie, love the weirdo. They are the ones who will give you love like a punch on the face. Like a splash of cold water in the middle of winter, they are the ones that get tattoed on your skin.

They won’t take you like a prescription, at the same time  every day with meals, they will get addicted to you, inhale you in like smoke, not leaving any part out. They won´t see bad and good, they see one, and love all. They’ll get drunk on your eyes and your smile, so they’ll try to make you happy every single second. They’ll kiss you hard, like you are a need, not an amusement.

They understand that things don’t last forever, that hard times will come along again, so while they have you they’ll make you live, they will give you all with no filters. They will make you hurt too and if you push they will push back, if you yell they’ll do it louder. There will be no sugar coating, no cherry, no games, they will put the cards on the table and let you decide, but if you say yes they’ll get rid of everything else and put you on top.

They won’t put love between your hands like owners feeding a puppy, they’ll throw it around like paper planes and make you get up of your big, comfy seat to chase them.

It might not last, it might not be perfect, but if while you are together you happen to fall into the sea, they will, no hesitation, jump in, hug you hard and drown with you.

25 thoughts on “Love an unlovable, love the weirdo.

  1. I think it’s always best to love someone who isn’t afraid to be themselves and be genuine. What we call a freak or a misfit, it usually somebody who simply isn’t afraid to go against convention, or a non-conformist, somebody who is highly individualistic.

    However to truly love someone it is always a risk, because you must completely open and vulnerable before that person. And you must totally accept that person good and bad for who they are. This is what makes love both perilous and completely wonderful at the same time. I guess I disagree with the implication that somehow the fact that I love a college graduate means I do not truly experience love. Since nobody is perfect, and we all have our complexities, if you know how to love and let yourself jump in both feet forward that is all that matters when going on the thrilling ride that is love. Both my wife and I are scientists, but I would strongly disagree that somehow makes our love less than loving a writer, hippie, or artist, etc. Especially since all of those could be college graduates, or born lucky and never been bruised. What you say as having no filter, I say is being considerate of the feelings of someone you love, by expressing yourself in a more constructive fashion. That of course isn’t easy and there are times when there is yelling and insults. Perhaps I have simply misunderstood what you are trying to say, but I guess what it all comes down to is that I would never portend that I had the ability to feel true love anymore than anybody else in any other walk of life. Or that who you love is somehow correlated to how strongly you can feel it. The most boring person in the world to you, can be extremely exciting and dynamic to someone else. If you truly feel love towards someone, when they leave you, you can be just as hurt as anyone else. Also the way someone outwardly shows love may not mirror their feelings, because all learn to love from relationships that we watch as a child. Mostly our parents, but it could be others as well. So I think it’s hard to assume anything about the love someone feels, compared to how they show that love.

    Your last statement however is very true, because you should always love like that. There is no perfect love either. No one person can actually be your everything, but you can always try for it. And you should always love the person like you may never get the chance to love them again. Nevertheless as I have been married 11.5 years and am still very much in love, there is a big difference to how it is now as compared to how it was when we first met. I would not trade this feeling for anything either. It is comfortable and safe, because I am not afraid to say what I want and be who I want to be with her. There is nothing wrong with comfortable and safe either. One just always has to remember that the future is uncertain, so appreciate each day in which you can be happy, comfortable and safe, and learn as much as you can from the days that are hard, frightening, and hurtful.

    1. Hey,How are you? I know everyone is different, i’m only speaking from my own humble 27 year old experience in here. I was thinking of an specific person when i talked about being lucky and the polo shirt, someone who always though less of me because my lastname wasn’t a brand like his and because i never finished school.
      And actually my fianceee has a college degree and finished at the top of his class, never take literaly everything i say, i meant it more like a metaphore, like, love someone who is following a good “life plan” and sticking to it.

      I do agree with you, everyone expresses love different depending on who they are and their personality and it doesn’t mean it’s a different love. But i personally, with the life i’ve had and being who i am, feel really uncomftable in “safe” environments, i don’t mean they are bad, but they make ME claustrophobic i realize they are heaven for a lot of other people, and that’s great, i don’t mean to judge, but maybe i’m a bit defensive in this since i’ve been judged before.

      As you also said no kind of love is better than other, the only thing is to find someone who wants exactly the same as you.

      Now that i think about it, what i wanted to say was love the passionate person, passionate about life, about what they do, passionate about feelings, and that could be anything and anyone regardless of their upbringing, or lifestyle.
      I didn’t mean to offend anyone, thanks for giving me your point of view.

      1. No offense taken Lula. In reading your posts and like I’ve said before it is clear you are someone with a great depth of feeling and an additionally powerful at your ability to express it. Perhaps I was being a bit defensive. Nevertheless I enjoy the conversation, even if there is disagreement, because I love to learn how others view life and particularly important topics like love.

        I have certainly always been attracted to passionate people. Perhaps this is why I followed your blog, because you definitely seem like a passionate person, even if we don’t share the same views. It is clear that you have a strong desire to experience life because you immerse yourself in the things you do and that is admirable trait. Perhaps that’s what passion really is. The ability to become wrapped up in what you are doing. Whether it is pursuing a career, loving someone, or just having fun. I am definitely a hedonistic person and those are usually my favorite kind of people. 🙂

      2. No, Thank you for always giving me your honest opinion, it’s always good to hear. I do need to stop some old feelings and ideas about certains things from getting in my writing because they are not fair.

      3. Well it’s your blog you don’t have to leave anything out of your writing that you don’t want to. 🙂 I think writing is a great way to get feelings out, explore subjects that sometimes get difficult to keep straight in the head, start conversation, and learn something about yourself and others. I am just a random person on the internet so I also don’t want to sound disrespectful to someone I am just getting to know. 🙂 I am glad you are open to conversation and have a very gracious demeanor. 🙂 Sometimes I think love is one of those big topics that we can spend our whole lives trying to get to know it, and still not have it completely figured out. In line with those are questions like “Why are we here?” and “Where do socks go in the dryer?”. 🙂 Alas, one has to just enjoy the challenge of trying to figure these things out. The best thing about love is that you have to do it in order to know it. And loving is a great thing. 🙂

        Now off to get a nap while I have the opportunity and the baby is asleep! 🙂

      1. Oh, please don’t take it as a criticism! I’m sorry, didn’t mean it that way – this is what I get for typing/thinking at the same time.

        Love works in many ways, for many different people, which is the best thing about it!

  2. journalpulp

    “They love the same way, delicately, slowly, like a surgeon opening you up with his sterilized gloves”

    I liked that.

    It reminds me of the Baudelaire line which T.S. Eliot was also fond of:

    “The act of love strongly resembles torture, or surgery.”

  3. cpsingleton42

    Loved this! The mark of good writing, whether I believe what you say or not, and as a poet and a weirdo I of course believe we do it better, is that the reader finishes the piece.
    I finished the piece!
    Well done that gal!

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